Monday, October 28, 2013

Cleaning Tips I Tried From Pinterest

          Sometimes I get overwhelmed with all of the posts to pinterest, they all sound like great ideas but how many of them can actually be true? Well this weekend I went through everything I had pinned and gave them a go.

Dryer Sheets 

   Personally I use off brand gain because I am cheap and I don't think it matters. I have tried all of these and they have worked. I also tried to use them in my back pocket for bug repellent, I don't believe it worked but as far as their cleaning ability, I am completely convinced they work better than other methods.

  • dusting, they totally work! I use them on all of my base boards and blinds and don't have to dust for 2 to 3 weeks. 
  • ring around the toilet, just put on a pair of gloves and go to town. 
  • soap scum in the bathtub 
  • polishing faucets 
  • wet dog smell 
  • cleaning glass top stoves    
Hot Vinegar

  • Hot vinegar and dawn.  Fuck that shit. Don't heat vinegar in the microwave unless you are looking for ways to make mustard gas. I tried hot vinegar and dawn to clean my bathtub after giving my dogs a bath, I do not believe that it made any difference and it just made us choke from fumes. 
  • Hot apple cider vinegar, and honey.  I use 1 tablespoon of each in about a cup of water whenever my throat feels sore. This has cured my strep throat without the use of antibiotics in 2 days. It doesn't taste great but you can't beat those kinds of results. 

  • Vinegar and newspaper. For mirrors and windows, totally works. 
  • Vinegar and mildew. Put it in your washing machines pre-wash with towels and pillows and takes the stink out, added bonus, it keeps your washing machine clean. 
Homemade Dishwasher Soap

      I use this recipe below and have for about a year now. I had some trouble with it in the beginning because my dishes came out with that white film, I tried adding vinegar, which worked but it seemed like I was going through a lot of vinegar. What works the best is simply adding rinse agent. This recipe also works as a soft scrub for cooked on foods, and garage needs like rims and greasy hands. (Ryan tested.)
  • 1 cup borax, 1 cup baking soda and 1 package of sugar-free lemonade (for citric acid) 
Homemade Laundry Soap

     I found that most recipes were the same with just small variations. I made myself a big 2 gallon bucket of the powder for my he front load washing machine. I was surprised to find that my machine could use powder but apparently all front loading ones can, you just have to take out the cup where you put the liquid.  
     So let me get real about this stuff. Ryan and I went to three different stores to find everything we needed to make it, partly for price, partly because we live in an extremely small town and partly because fels naptha soap is hard to find. If you wan to make the stuff go to Wal-mart, normally I wouldn't advocate doing that but they had everything and lots of it. 
     After we got back home with all of the stuff I needed, I had the tiresome act of making the shit. Grating the bar of fels naptha, the hardest soap in the world, made my arms weak but the good news is that everything else is as simple as opening a box and pouring it in your bucket. The part I enjoyed the most about making my laundry soap was that I was able to choose how it smelled. The Purex washing crystals come a few verities and add most of the smell but you can also add essential oils. 
    It's cleaning abilities were pretty great. It was able to get waxy deodorant residue out of a couple of mine and Ryan's t-shirts. I have long been a fan of borax and baking soda in my laundry so I wasn't surprised that it did get my laundry clean. I do have concerns about whether it is too harsh of a detergent over time or not. 
Everything cost about $35, which is a lot of money if you ask me because it made about 1 1/2 gallons. You use 1/3 cup for a normal sized load, so really if you are doing a load of laundry a day, its not very cheap. Personally I choose to coupon for my detergent and I use this stuff more like an additive to my regular laundry. 

    I do also use this as a carpet freshener, sprinkle it on the carpet about 10 minutes before I vacuum and it smells nice. 

     Those are the few I have tried and liked. Oh also water in a ziplock bag for flies is bullshit. 

Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Hot Italian Beef


      I know what you are thinking and yes, I am being lewd. This is a recipe for a hot sandwich, that tastes sinfully delicious. It's juicy, warm, filling and as good as the tender meat is, I feel the veggies are even better.

     Don't you just want to eat the monitor or phone or other device that you might be using? Damn, I just put that in my belly and I am still salivating. Okay here is how you make it. 

     Start off by heating olive oil in a heavy, oven safe pot over medium high heat. I chose my favorite kitchen purchase of all time, Les Creuset. Generously salt and pepper your roast, for this recipe I chose a chuck because it has decent marbling and its cheap. There is really no reason to worry about the fat since the method used to cook the meat is a slow heat that pulls out most of the fat. 

    Add your beef to the pot and sear each side until golden brown. Note, when using cast iron, enameled cast iron or stainless cookware, your meat will stick to the pan until it has formed this crust as shown above. Just be patient and let your tools do the work for you. When the crust has formed the meat will release from the pan. 

      While your meat is doing its thing, chop celery into crescents. Cut onion and bell pepper into slices and mince garlic. Leave the basil leaves whole. Once the meat has seared on both sides add water,  worcestershire sauce, vegetables and Italian seasonings. 

      Bring up to a boil, cover with lid and place in an oven preheated to 325 degrees for one hour, reduce heat to 250 and continue cooking for another 2 hours. Add more water if the meat is less than half way covered. Cook longer if the meat doesn't pull apart easily with a fork, because it should. 

      Pull apart meat into chunks and serve on a hoagy bun. I like to let the juices soak into the bread before eating it. 

  • 3lb chuck roast beef
  • 2 TBSP olive oil
  • 2 cups water
  • 1 package of Italian salad dressing mix
  • 2 TBSP worchestershire sauce 
  • One 14.5oz can diced tomatoes, Italian 
  • Pepperoncini and Jalapenos, as many as you like about 6 or 8 each
  • 1 green bell pepper
  • 2 celery stocks
  • half an onion 
  • 20ish fresh basil leaves
  • 4 cloves garlic
  • 1 tsp dried thyme
  • 2 bay leaves 
  • 1/2 tsp red pepper flakes 
  • salt and pepper 

     Pre-heat oven to 325. Heat oil in heavy oven safe pot over medium-high heat. Add salt and peppered beef to pan. Sear on each side until golden brown. Add water, chopped veggies, seasonings and tomatoes.  Bring to a simmer, cover and place in oven. Bake for 1 hour, reduce heat to 250 and continue to cook for another 2 hours. Serve over hoagy buns. 

     *this recipe easily converts to a crock pot recipe for all you busy house makers. Just brown the roast then add all ingredients to crock pot and cook on low for 8 hours. 

Sunday, June 30, 2013

DIY Sunburn Relief.

       Boy! has it been a long time since I wrote a post. I have no excuse, other than life in general. Spring seems to be a busy time in my life and that rolls right into summer which tends to get even busier for me.

       The warmer weather means more yard work for me and more time spent in the sun. Having skin that is more milky white than red heads may sound appealing to most but it has its disadvantages. I literally get burnt inside cars, with tinted windows. More than five minutes outside and I am toast, well actually that wouldn't so bad, I am more like a lobster.

      If you didn't read the first two paragraphs, they don't matter, seriously.

 A list of items to relieve and heal sunburns found around the house. 

  •  Glycerin- as well as being useful in moisturizing and the active ingredient in my diy make-up setter, it has even more healing benefits for the skin. Helpful in healing minor cuts, and burns, moisturizing skin, and its an ideal personal lubricant. 
  • Witch Hazel- this is my favorite toner because it draws out dirts and oils without drying out your skin. When you apply it to a burn, you can feel it pulling out the burn. It is also great for relieving the pain in new tattoos and it wont mess with your ink. 
I'm a foody who loves my home state. Idaho Potato Tattoo.

  •  Apple Cider Vinegar- great for drawing out the burn and healing the skin. Also its pretty amazing as a toner if you have acne. Annnnd its good for your hair and the lady parts and softening your scaly feet. Just basically bath in the stuff, I do. Draw a bath and add a cup of vinegar and soak. You wont come out smelling like vinegar, I promise and as an added bonus it cleans your bath and jets if you have them. 
  A few tips. 

      You can find glycerin in the pharmacy, if you can't find it there, ask them to order it for you or look at KY, I am not 100% sure but I think that is just glycerin and maybe added flavoring. Also you might find it in the suppository section. Just look at the ingredients list. 
  Witch hazel will be wear the alcohol and hydrogen peroxide is, usually on the bottle shelf.  The way I apply glycerin to my burns it by making a mix of water, glycerin and witch hazel and putting it in a spray bottle, just like my diy make up setter. It makes it really easy to get it on your back. 
     Apple cider vinegar just take a bath in it, its awesome. 

   Oh and use sun screen on your sun burn, try upping your SPF. And please don't be stupid and think that if you get burnt just once then it will turn into your base tan and you won't get burnt again. You will get burnt again and you will get skin cancer and die. Stay safe this summer ya'll! 

Saturday, May 18, 2013

The Great Burger Tax


      Quickly I would like to jot down a couple thoughts I have about how universal healthcare might work for the United States. I, myself am not for it because I know that a lot of the people who are for it, are exactly the type of people that would abuse government help. Like welfare, unemployment and food stamps, all really great ideas that were meant to help our people in times of need, and not be a form of income....
      I have visited other countries that have healthcare, I have also visited countries that don't believe in welfare checks. In the UAE, they will give anyone any job to care for the poor. They have people who literally sweep the streets with brooms. Women who sit in the bathroom just to fill the toilet paper twice a day. It might not sound like a glamorous job but these people are not going hungry and they are doing a job that is suited to their abilities. Not dealing drugs, getting their nails done every week, new tattoos and still collecting $800 in food stamps because they don't know how they got pregnant five times...
      The only way I see healthcare working is by taking away freedoms. Specifically the right to choose what we eat and I hate to say it but have children. Maybe not as bad or extreme as China, like not a limit on children but more of who is allowed to have children.
      I see fast food becoming a controlled substance. Seriously though, when I have visited other countries, I always try their McDonald's because I am curious how it differs from what the true American version, if at all. McDonald's in different countries isn't as greasy and it tastes more fresh like a burger made from 85/15 ground beef and I have to admit, I like it a lot better.  Germany's McDonald's is amazing plus they have beer.
      But what if the American people don't like fresher, less greasy food? I think eating fast food will be a lot like the process of buying certain allergy medicines. You will have to present your id and it will go in a computer check base and if you are over your limit then you will be denied the sale.
      The burger check will be denied to everyone with high cholesterol and diabetics.  What if obese people were required to exercise as a form of parole? Easy meals would disappear from the shelves and frozen sections in the grocery store. Our children would have and learn all the precautionary steps to take to avoid totally avoidable diseases.
        Just some ideas I had, although I seriously doubt fast food corporations, drug companies and doctors will let any of that happen so don't worry too much fatties. No one is going to take away your cigs and start taxing your burgers.

Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Asparagus Bisque

       Spring brings so many wonderful flavors to our table and my favorite by far is asparagus. It's easy to find at your local grocery store but did you know that its actually a weed that grows in ditches along the road?
       When I was growing up in Idaho, I remember driving real slow out in the country. The doors of my sisters van open and our eyes were sharp to spot the flowered weed. We would come home with grocery bags full of it and have big bbqs with sautéed asparagus dipped in lemon mayonaise.
       Asparagus season is upon us and this recipe is a great way to use up the bunches in your fridge. It will also give you a good reason to use your immersion blender, I am always looking for ways to use that handy tool.


  • 1 1/2 lbs Asparagus (two big hand fulls)
  • 1 medium carrot
  • 1 bell pepper, I used yellow. 
  • 1 small onion, use whatever color you have. 
  • 1 stalk celery 
  • 2 cups chicken or veggie stock. I used home-made because its FREE, for the recipe check Free Stock
  • 3/4 cup heavy cream 
  • salt, pepper 
  • croutons and asparagus tops for garnish. 


  Coarsely chop all veggies and add to stock in a sauce pan, bring to boil then turn down to a simmer. Let simmer for 10 minutes or until veggies are tender but still vibrant in color. Blend with immersion blender or by adding veggies to blender or food processor until its pureed. Add your cream and adjust seasonings. Serve with croutons, asparagus and a dollop of cream. Enjoy within 5 days or freeze.

Saturday, March 9, 2013

DIY Sugar Wax Hair Removal

     Ever spend $20 at the salon to get your eyebrows waxed and then been less than satisfied with the results? Yeah, me too but now I just do it at home and don't have anyone else to blame my eyebrows on other than me. Just kidding, my eyebrows rock and my uni-brow is smooth and  non- existing.
    Alright, enough with my babbling here is the recipe and instructions.

    Add 1 tsp of honey to 2 tsp of brown sugar.

     Add a little drop of oil to your measuring spoon before you put the honey in it and it will come out smooth.

    Microwave on high for 30 seconds and let it cool for 5 minutes.

     While you are waiting, cut up some scrap fabric into strips.

     Next apply the sugar wax to your problem areas in the direction of the hair growth. Mustache, eyebrows, armpits, toes, what have you. Although I would suggest making more if you are going to do your legs.

    Brace yourself and pull against the hair growth.

   Eww, uni-brow hair.

    And mustache fuzz, no more!

   Have fun! And no, I didn't cry.

Tuesday, February 26, 2013


    So about six or eight months ago I decided to look for a replacement for my falling apart purse. I have had this Louis V knock off for about three years now and the straps are unraveling and it just looks cheaper and cheaper every time I see it. I try to avoid eye contact with this thing, it's getting pretty bad.
    As embarrassed as I am to carry it, I still can't find a suitable replacement in the reasonably priced purses. I continue to carry this dirty old bag as a constant reminder of what I must do to get the ONE and only purse great enough to replace it. Seriously  this is like the one purse to rule them all, at least it is in my book. 

    This is Dooney and Bourke's Floretine Satchel. Look at it! LOOK! It is the most amazing purse ever and I can't get it out of my mind. I found this purse about six or seven months ago when I went to Dillard's to find a replacement for my current purse, yes it looked bad that long ago... I was being sensible at first, looking at the fossil bags and clearance. But when I didn't find anything I liked there I ventured to the other side of the aisle and found a bag worth waiting for.
     This last weekend I went down to Birmingham and went to the Macy's, we don't have a Macy's in Huntsville, anyway I showed this bag off to Pam who thought it was very nice but could never spend that money on a bag, did I mention its $398? Well, since I can't spend that money on a bag either I asked the salesman if he knew of any sales coming up and you know what, they go 25% off! Then I just happened to remember that my sister works at Macy's in Idaho and she gets an employee discount!
     I know that I am suppose to own this bag and I will tell you why. It's not only because my wonderful, beautiful and talented sister is going to help me get it for cheap but its also because I won.
     I was at Costco buying a couple things for the house. There were of course lines to the movies and the lady in front of me had a whole shopping cart full of stuff, like an uncommon amount of stuff even for Costco. When she went to pay, she handed the cashier a printed check that the cashier scanned and it took off the money. The lady behind me commented on it saying that she hadn't gotten her rewards check yet and that it was at the end of your statement, which I just so happend to have in my purse. 
      My items rang up for $21 dollars and I used the check I had to pay. I noticed my check was for more and I just assumed that I would have a credit towards Costco. Nope, she handed me back $370 dollars! I WON!! OMG! I WONNN!

      The exact amount of money I needed. Why thank you universe, I will buy that bag. 

Saturday, February 16, 2013

You Stupid Bitch...

    I want to start off by saying thank you to my readers. I know a lot of you found me on Pinterest, a truly amazing tool, and have possibly enjoyed recreating my recipes or am I being overly presumptuous? Never the less, most of the views I get are for my blog on my diy make-up setter . It is extremely thrilling to see my blog being repinned all over and hearing people talk about how much money they will save by making the make-up setter. SHARE with me... No, okay.

    With that being said, let me get into the title of this particular post, there are some dumb bitches out there in the world. We all know 'em, we all are guilty of being 'em at one point or another but I would just like to single out a couple people and I am sorry if it is you but seriously I can't hold my tongue any longer.

    So I had this one lady comment saying that the setter made her face feel sticky and she asked what she could do. I didn't reply, I know that was a dick move but the answer was right there in my blog, she just had to read one more paragraph. When someone else did reply to her trying to help and said , "add some witch hazel and a little rubbing alcohol" though, I felt like I was a victim of PLAGIARISM!

    Seriously, that was the answer and I was being too much of a cock to just repeat myself to this poor reader who just didn't read far enough into the post where I told her exactly what to do if it was sticky. Blame it on all the teachers who sent me back to my seat to read the chapter again, or rather for real this time, for taking out some passive aggressiveness on her. But as soon as I saw that someone else had replied to her using my very answer, I was all over that shit.

   Of course I was kind about it because people actually read that post, and possibly the comments, so it's not like I can be a sarcastic ass about it, and say exactly what I am thinking, like I do on my facebook. I was kind and repeated the reasons why it could be sticky and shared my personal experiences with it, telling her I wore it all day mowing the lawn, and my make up still looked perfect and it wasn't sticky after adding the small amount of rubbing alcohol.

    The tipping point today, though was when this other lady commented on the blog to tell me that baby oil was just glycerin and fragrance. You know, in all fairness, she may have been confused. I mean they are both clear liquids and have similar viscosities. I myself had to go and grab a bottle of baby oil and read the ingredients list just to make sure that I wasn't losing my fucking mind.

    Sure enough, I had not, baby oil is still made from oil. Mineral oil and fragrance. Again, I commented and didn't even point out the fact that she was wrong, I held my tongue and applauded her for recognizing that mineral oil is actually a very useful beauty product. It is great for removing eye make up and other oil based make ups. But the problem with it is that lots of people find it clogs their pores. So I suggested using olive oil as it will moisturize  successfully remove the make up and dirts and won't clog your pores.

   You see, that was some quick thinking on my part, I know how to turn on the cheese when I need to. But the truth is, I joked around and made fun of this comment all damn day long. I still can't stop laughing at it. Not so much that she was wrong in thinking that it was glycerin but more because I was able to turn it around when all I really wanted to say was, "you stupid bitch... try mixing baby OIL and water together in a bottle and tell me how well it works out for you."

Friday, January 11, 2013

Craters of the Moon Pie For Christina

     This is an easy delicious pie that I have loved for years. My grandma would make it whenever I came over because it is so much fun to watch. The oven babysat me while this pie was baking. The end result is a fluffy creamy pie with endless flavor possibilities.

      Start off by bringing 1 cup of water, 1 stick of butter, 1 tsp of sugar and 1/4 tsp of salt to a boil.

      Once it is boiling add 1 cup of flour all at once. Stirring vigorously over the heat for a minute until the dough forms a ball.

      Let it cool for about five or so minutes then add the eggs one...



    one at a time. That makes 4 total.

    Divide the dough evenly into two well buttered dishes.

    Spread the dough with a spatula all around the edges. If you want your pie to have a taller edge then spread more dough to the edges of the dish.

    Place in a 450 degree pre-heated oven and bake for 18 minutes.

   Here is the fun part, the raising of craters! Five minutes of baking.

    Ten minutes of baking.

    Fifteen minutes....

    And DONE!

    While your craters are cooling off you can prepare pie filling, ie instant pudding with your own kick and whipped cream. I would not recommend doing this until after the pie has baked because seriously you will want to just put a stool in front of the oven door and watch.

     I made three chocolate chip, two vanilla bean and one banana cream. Other good flavors are lemon curd, blueberry, strawberry, s'more really whatever you can think of. Then top with fresh whipped cream, then share with dogs.  This is essentially a cream-puff pie.

     All of these pies are being donated to the Church of the Heartland for a bake sale to benefit Christina and Skylar. The bake sale will take place at noon until 2 PM on Sunday after service at the Church of the Heartland, 5548 Highway 431 South, Brownsboro, Alabama 35741. We are all praying for you and wish you a fast recovery. To find out more and how you can help visit #teamstinaleigh

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Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Stock; Made From The Stuff You Would've Thrown Away.

     I have been making all kinds of homemade soups. Gumbo, chicken noodle, hamburger and dog vegetable stew, clam chowder, and three-pepper corn chowder. I seriously can't get enough of soups. They are easy, delicious and cheap, that is if you don't have to buy frivolous ingredients like stock.
   Wait, you mean you do buy chicken, vegetable or beef stock? Well I am going to excuse that just this once because you probably didn't know how to make it on your own and how easy it was to make. All stocks start out the same with only four ingredients. Water, bones,vegetable peels and salt. CHEAP, CHEAP, CHEAP, cheep.

      Here is what I do, I start by saving my vegetable peels in freezer bags, it usually takes about a quart of peels. I save carrot peels, the tops of bell peppers, onion peels anything other than lettuce gets thrown into a freezer bag and then made into stock.

     Then the next time you have chicken or another meat with bones, save those bones. If you don't think you have enough, just throw them in a freezer bag until you do. I usually like to get a rotisserie chicken from costco and have it for dinner one night, then I pull all of the meat off it and use the whole chicken with skin.

    The meat that I pull off the chicken will be used in soups later.

        So next you put everything in a stock pot with about 2 quarts of water and 2 tablespoons of salt depending on how many vegetables and bones you have.

       Look at all the goodies in there! Tomato vines, onion peels even the dried out skin. Bell peper seeds, celery leafs, carrot peels. Seriously good looking stuff.

       Next you let it come to a boil then cover it and turn it down to a simmer. Let it simmer for about an hour and then cool off. You strain it and store it in freezer safe containers, making sure to leave room at the top. I like to use pickle jars.

      This recipe yields 8 cups of stock.

  • 2 quarts water
  • 2 TBSP salt, more or less to taste
  • 1 quart of freezer vegetable peels 
  • 1 quart of bones from chicken or beef. Leave out if making vegetable stock. 
 Add all ingredients to stock pot. Bring to a boil then reduce to a simmer. Let simmer for 30 minutes to an hour. Let it cool then strain. Add any spices you might like at this point, like ground sage. Pour into freezer safe containers, making sure to leave room at the top. You can store it in your fridge for 3 days or freezer it.

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